In December 2018, my life changed. There was too much stress with my job, support was minimal, and the daily grind felt like torture. In short, changes needed to happen. The severity of needing change was eminent; my inner being was struggling for life. It wasn’t until weeks later, I was offered a job to work with a team – a job I had been longing for. Teamwork,support, communication, acceptance, caring, honestly- all of that in one place!
I was at my new position for a number of weeks before contact was made from a couple of people from my former workplace. I have two very close friends/ colleagues whom I have had contact with almost every day since I left, but the ones who called me their ‘friend’ had yet to even contact me. Not that it really matters because I know how they are yet, I find it confusing that the term friend is used to carelessly. Weird. I guess I have a different meanings of what a friend and best friend are.
For example, a couple of weeks ago I had stopped into my old work place and was greeted with such flamboyancy and kindness that I was uncomfortable. When I was there every day, it was a hot and cold relationship, but I guess when others are around to witness, all is good. Moving on has been a wonderful experience- and yes, I have been asked to continue for the next year. That is a good feeling knowing I am part of their team.
I have been sorting out my thoughts of family, friends, job placement, life. I know who I can count on for friends, and it’s not that many- which in my book is a good thing. Having too many friends creates drama, jealousy, discontent. I have a limit- all on one hand, excluding my husband, he’s a given. People shuffling in and out of ones life can really be an eye-opening experience. I have taken time to really think about what I need to keep me going, and it’s not much. Recently I reconnected with a friend whom I had not spent much time with in the last 5-8 years. We were somewhat close when our boys were playing sports together. What I found out from our short three and a half hour camp-out at a local coffee shop was that she and I were experiencing the same exact things in our lives at the same time!! How ironic!! At the end of our three hour stint, we had made some decisions about our town, possibly creating something exciting for kids in the community, made plans to hike, camp, dine, and support one another. It was such a pleasurable experience. (If you read this, know that I will cherish our conversations. P, our time together means so much- and I will strive to keep in touch- we need this <3).
Sometimes family is harder to tolerate than friends. Time and space have worked for me. I have done a lot of listening without much speaking, which is hard to get used to doing. Recently I have been in many situations where I have needed to just listen. Listening can create a positive outcome- yet sometimes it can turn out to be the opposite. I have been on the receiving side of both. Wrapping my brain around behaviors that just don’t make sense boggles me. I always look at how my behavior may have created the situation: Did I need to do something different? What can I change to make a positive motion? There is only so much I can do. The rest is up to those who help make up the equation.
People come in and out of your life for a reason. I am a firm believer on that. Those who stay are a gift. Treat them that way. Tender, fragile parcels. Unwrap them slowly. They all need special care, including family. Those who want to be in your life will make time- it may not be often, but time has a way of putting people in your life at the proper time. As for me, I am continuing to live and make self improvements. For me, that’s what is important. Rolling with the changes- somewhat gracefully.
Keep on rolling, keep on rolling…. https://youtu.be/4PdU6migsqQ
Learning through Life 